“Every time I go to the group, I learn something from another member,” says Valeria*, who joined Buckelew’s Survivors of Suicide support group two years ago. “There is a sense of safety, to be able to trust that you can share your story and be uplifted and cared for.”

Valeria’s son, Rafael*, would have turned 25 this year. He was a bright light not only to his family, but to everyone in their community. Friends would point out Rafael as an example to their own kids, for both his achievements at school and the care and compassion he showed at home. He was, above all, a role model to his brother, Salvador*.

“He was smart and strong, and a hero to his little brother,” says Valeria. “He had a lot to offer, and he accomplished so much.”

Rafael died by suicide in 2023. Valeria spent the following year trying everything to help process her unbearable grief: talk therapy, psychiatry, spiritual counsel. Then a friend told her about Buckelew’s SOS group after hearing about it at a community event. She decided it was worth a try and joined the group for Spanish speakers.

“I had never participated in a group like this,” she says. “I felt welcomed and acknowledged. I’m not going to say it was easy, but it was very encouraging.”

When she first joined, she could not stop crying. Yet she always left feeling validated and accepted. In the group, Valeria found relief from the unspoken pressure she often felt to be ‘further along’ in her grief.

“I was interested in learning more about everyone’s stories. They were similar to mine, and that helped me open up and share more of my story. It’s hard to talk about. But sharing and processing are part of the healing.”

For Valeria, moving forward doesn’t mean moving on. “There is a ‘before’ and ‘after’ to this loss. Even when you feel happy, there is a missing piece, and nothing is ever quite the same again,” she says. “It’s okay to feel everything, because losing a child means losing a part of yourself.”

Now, as part of her own healing, she helps others through their own grief. She also encourages all parents to learn about the mental health resources available in their area, and to know the warning signs of suicide.

“I’m sharing my story because I think it will have a ripple effect, where other mothers feel hope. I want them to see what lies on the other side of grief. That you can move through it, and there is recuperation.”

*Names changed for privacy